I was raised in a Christian home. I saw my parents rely on Christ in their marriage and I knew that one day I wanted that same thing. I met my husband and we both knew that Christ needed to be at the center of our relationship. This was a great thought but we soon learned that there needs to be action to actually make it happen. Good things do not simply appear, they are learned and achieved.
Marriage is the hardest adventure that I have ever embarked on. It is extremely rewarding and I couldn’t imagine my life without my husband but it can be hard. I believe that the hardest things are often the most desirable. Marriages have rocky moments and may even have times when it feels hopeless and pointless to keep moving forward. When these times have hit my marriage I realized it was because our focus was not on Christ but other things. Turning our hearts back to Christ turned our dark moments light again.
- Pray for Your Marriage
Prayer is the central form of keeping God in your marriage. It is where you can plead to heal a hurt, keep you strong, or bring back love that feels lost. When you put Christ as the first stop in a marriage it will be that much stronger. Having that divine help is everything. I often pray for my husband when we say our couple prayers at night. I pray for the things I know he is stressed about and the things that I wish I was better at for him. It can feel awkward at first but I have seen amazing things come from doing this. Sometimes it is easier to pray and talk to God about things then to talk directly to your spouse. I have seen that when I pray for my husband our love for each other naturally grows. We see that we are aware of each other’s struggles and that we want to help anyway we can. Prayer is a powerful gift given to us from God. He wants us to be happy. He wants our marriages to stand the test of time. Prayer is the most simple way of putting Christ at the center of a marriage.
- Serve Each Other
Christ spent His whole life serving those around Him. He was the most selfless person that ever has and ever will live on Earth. He showed us that when we serve others our love grows for that person. President Ezra Taft Benson of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints once said, “The secret of a happy marriage is to serve God and each other. The goal of marriage is unity and oneness, as well as self-development. Paradoxically, the more we serve one another, the greater is our spiritual and emotional growth.” Striving to put your spouse first in all things will grow your love ten-fold than any other way. Serving your spouse can be hard at times, especially if it feels one sided or as if it is not doing anything. There have been times where I have served my husband expecting things in return and so I turned angry that nothing was returned. Obviously, this was the wrong way of doing things. True service is doing things with zero expectation of return. Serving is loving and love does not expect things in return. It would be like giving a gift solely with the purpose of receiving one too. Both gifts thus turn tainted. Service is a selfless act of love. Selflessness is necessary in a Christ-centered marriage.
- Make God a Priority in Your Own Life
Do you put God and Christ first in your life? Do you seek Them before the things of the world? I have to admit that I have been guilty of not doing these things. I have probably too often forgot to put God first and sought after worldly things. As a result these were the times that my marriage started struggling the most. Satan is cunning and he will do things a little at a time in marriages. Then before you know it a marriage is broken and feels beyond repair. Making God the priority doesn’t prevent hard times from entering a marriage or family but it does keep the core strong. Putting the priority of Christ in a marriage shields it from the world and Satan. Satan does not want families to be strong.He wants to destroy them. It is more important than it has ever been to make sure our families are safe. We do this by putting God as the center of everything we do.
- Study Together
This is THE hardest one for my husband and I to actually do. We get on a roll and then miss one day and then just fail the rest of the week. But we keep trying! God doesn’t need or expect perfection but He does expect effort. The best we can do. If this means you and your spouse read one verse of scripture a day and talk about it then that is great! I have noticed that when my spouse and I study scriptures and living prophets together our marriage feels more peaceful. The Holy Spirit is more prominent in our home. Making a conscious effort to be closer to Christ will automatically translate to your home and marriage. God loves to bless His children and is simply waiting for us to do the things He has asked to do to give us those blessings.
- Love as Christ Loves
Christ loved all freely and wholly. He was the perfect example of what love looks like. He gave of Himself daily. He did not turn away from those who needed Him. He paid the ultimate price and showed us what real unconditional love looks like. President Gordon B. Hinckley of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints once said, “True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well-being of one’s companion.” Love is so much more than dating and falling in love. Love is serving and putting the other first. Loving as Christ does can be a difficult thing at times. At times we may feel that it is one sided and unappreciated. But I believe that as we rely on Christ and love as He did marriages bloom and become strong and unshakeable.
Marriage is a hard thing. There are even marriages that try everything they possibly can to make it strong and it still breaks. This life was not meant to be easy. But I love having my person next to me as I strive to be better. My husband and I have gone through rough patches (as every marriage does at times) but as we turned our hearts and home back to Christ we healed. We became stronger than before. Christ has shown us how to love and He is the way to have a strong, happy marriage that can withstand anything.
What have you done to make your marriage strong in Christ? Let me know in the comments!
