June 10, 2020
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When I had my first child I remember waking up in zombie mode after about two days of not getting much sleep at night. I’m sure I’m not the first to feel this way and I know I won’t be the last. As I was trying to think of how I was going to get through the day my mom saw me (she was visiting/ helping with my new baby), she told me that she was going to take the baby and that I needed to go to sleep. I was EXTREMELY grateful in this moment! Finally I was able to get sleep! So I took a nice 3 hour nap in between needing to feed my baby which made me feel like a whole new person.
After I had my nap my mother asked if I had started a routine with my baby? I thought “WHAT? Who has a routine with a newborn?” But my mom explained that babies need routines in order to know when to sleep and eat, play, etc. Of course! Babies don’t know if it is night or day and when they should be sleeping longer stretches. I began a routine that day to help me and my baby get into a predictable routine.
Once my mom left and I was on my own I started researching this whole routine thing more. I found article after article of how to train your baby to sleep better at night and be more predictable in their needs and wants. Lightbulbs began going off in my head. After trial and error of a few different ways I found a way that worked for me. I have done the same thing with baby #2 and it worked even better with him!
Before you start be sure to grab these items. They will make all the difference!
- Muslim swaddle blankets. These are breathable and soft and my top choice to swaddle with.
- Noise machine. AMAZING! Especially if you have other kiddos or have a small house with connecting rooms. Cancels other noises out so your baby sleeps through it all!
- Pacifiers. LIFE SAVERS! I use pacifiers the second my little one is doing well with breastfeeding (if bottle-fed, use right away!). Helps soothes and comfort at night. After trying many different kinds these are definitely my favorite.
- Night light. Use this instead of turning lights on at night. Helps teach your baby that it is night time so they sleep. These are great because they are motion activated. So when you walk in at night it will come on and you don’t have to worry about fumbling around.
#1 Wake your baby every 3 hours during the day
This is a big one! The more your baby sleeps during the day the less they will sleep at night! Babies come naturally with their days and nights switched up. This is because when you are up and moving all day your baby is lulled to sleep. But at night you are still and this is when your baby is awake and moving the most. So when they are born they are backwards.
To fix this wake your baby every 3 hours to eat. If they are all peaceful and asleep at that three hour mark wake them up. They are hungry I promise! By doing this they will get the majority of their calories needed during the day and so they can go longer stretches at night. It may take a couple of weeks because their tummies are so small. But with both of my babies after just a week they were already doing 4-5 hour stretches of sleep at night.
I follow what is called eat, play, and sleep routine during the day. Basically the most important part of the routine is to feed them right when they wake up or soon after. Looks something like this:
- 8- wake up, feed and play
- 9- nap
- 11- wake up, feed and play
- 12- nap
- 2- wake up, feed and play
- 3- nap
- 5- wake up feed and play
- 6- catnap( wake up after 45 min)
- 7- bedtime routine
Schedule varies depending on the times they wake and go to sleep. Also the older they get the longer they can stay awake and thus nap 3 and 4 will drop off eventually. But by doing it this way your baby will not rely on feeding to go to sleep. So remember Eat, Play, Sleep
#2 Keep a consistent bedtime routine
Having a bedtime routine is similar to a clock for us. By doing the same things at the same time everyday you are setting your baby’s internal clock for when to go to bed. This is my schedule (change to fit your family)
- 7:00 – bath, lotion, jammies
- 7:15-7:30 – bottle
- 7:30- 8 – bed
Again adjust for your family and preferences. I do a 12 hour night schedule, this means you keep your baby in their bed for 12 hours to help them learn to sleep. Consistency is the most important! My second little baby hits 7 and starts getting very grumpy. His little body knows what time it is. I also do a bottle at night with pumped milk, this trains your baby to eat both breast and bottle. This is great for moms returning to work soon or if you want to leave your baby with someone else and get a break.
Note: I have been asked if I let my babies cry it out. I have never really needed to because I lay them down awake from day one. They are used to sleeping on their own so it never bothered them. This is another reason to swaddle! It helps them feel safe and warm. But if you have a snuggle bug that doesn’t like to go to sleep themselves, I did a modified cry it out. You let them fuss for 5 minutes and if they are still crying then go in comfort and put them back down. Repeat until they go to sleep. I usually only have to do this twice before they are out. This is a gentle way of teaching them to go to sleep on their own.
#3 Swaddle!!!!
I know there are many that do not think that swaddling is necessary but I swear by them. Your baby was in this tiny womb for 9 months all tight and cozy, they enjoy that feeling outside the womb (at least for a little while). Swaddling your baby when they sleep will also teach them that when they are swaddled it is time to sleep.
If your baby is a ninja at escaping try the double swaddle. I did this with both of my babies. It is a great way for them to stay swaddled. Then when they are a month or so old I switch to this swaddle sack. It is great for training babies to sleep without being swaddled when they start rolling. It is a sleep sack that is snug around their tummies so they continue to feel nice and snug.
#4 Make feedings at night different
When feeding your baby during the day make it bright and noisy. Let them know it is light out and they should be awake. Tinkle their feet, smile and play while they eat. But at night make sure to keep the room dark, don’t play, and immediately after feeding swaddle them back up and lay them back down right away. My night feedings went like this:
- Turn night light on
- Change diaper
- Feed baby (gently stimulate, if needed, so baby eats a full meal)
- Burp baby
- Swaddle back up
- Lay down with pacifier
- Turn night light off
By doing night feeding like so the baby is learning that nighttime is different. No playing and no stimulation. By a couple of weeks both my babies would fall asleep while I was feeding them. And slowly a feeding would drop at night. By 1 month both my babies would sleep from 8pm to 2 am. By a month and a half they were both sleeping from 8pm to 5am. By 2 months they were sleeping 12 hours a night consistently.
*** I never wake my babies at night! By feeding them consistently every 3 hours during the day I felt as though it was ok to let them sleep longer stretches at night. I never had a Doctor tell me to stop doing this. My babies were consistently gaining weight so they were ok missing feedings very early on. However, PLEASE listen to your Doctor. If your baby is not gaining weight or is premature they may require more calories and will need to be woken up at night too.
#5 Ask God for help
I firmly believe that God cares about the things we care about, regardless of how small they may be. Whenever I am struggling with mama things I try to always turn to God and ask for help and guidance. There are times when I am praying about the way I am doing things and then get a feeling that I should change and do it another way. God loves you and wants to help in all things. Turn to Him and He will help.
I have followed these steps with 2 babies and both are amazing sleepers! I put them to bed and walk away and they sleep. So easy. If you put in the work when they are new babies then you won’t have to do it later. I have a 3 year old that still just lays down when we tell her and goes to sleep. I don’t even remember long periods of time that I don’t get a great night sleep (other than teething and sleep regressions because even great sleepers go through regressions).
If you have questions or comments on what you did to train your babies, leave them below!
