June 25, 2020
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I believe that there are many things that you are told and even prepare for when you are pregnant with your little one. Morning sickness, cravings, being uncomfortable, heartburn, acid reflux, epidural or natural, etc. But I do not think that women are properly prepared for what comes after the baby is here.
I remember having my first baby and was so excited. I could not believe that she was finally here! I could hold her and snuggle her, or just stare at her (we all do it). But I remember thinking how hard the recovery was and why had no one told me about it. Obviously you push a baby out of your vagina there is going to be damage. But I did not even think about how hard it would be, especially with baby number 1.
Having a baby is hard. Every stage is hard! Pregnancy, hard. Giving birth, hard. Recovery, hard. Postpartum hormones and emotions, hard. Now I am not saying that it is not worth it because every single hard thing was absolutely worth it for my two beautiful babies. I simply wish that someone warned me about the hard things. I believe that if I was more informed than I would have been able to handle it better and prepared for it better. Here are my tips on postpartum recovery and postpartum blues.
First: Get all the goodies!
Not only will you need to have the essentials for your baby but you are also going to need to get some goodies for yourself! Here is my life saving list:
- Witch hazel pads. These are absolutely the most amazing things I have ever used. A nurse introduced these to me when I had my first baby. They are soothing and healing and so nice! You line your pad with them and they cool your vagina and help with the soreness from birth. I bought a huge pack when I had my second before I had him. I use them until I stop bleeding/ when I do not feel the pain anymore. More stitches= the longer you will want to wear them.
- Peri-bottle. The hospital will give you one of these but I had friends that had one in every bathroom in their house plus one for the diaper bag! They are geniuses. I didn’t feel like I needed one in every bathroom but to have one in my diaper bag would have saved me a couple of times. You use this thing for a solid 6 weeks. You will most likely go somewhere and if you need the bathroom then having this with you will be a huge anxiety relief.
- Derma spray. This stuff takes away any itching. It also soothes. It always felt amazing to spray this on after going to the bathroom. You will thank yourself for buying this.
- Maxi pads. The hospital sends you home with giant mesh undies and giant pads but these only last so long. Plus after a couple of days I was over feeling like I was wearing a diaper. So instead I buy maxi pads and they work great!
- Comfy button down nightgown. This will be so nice for night feedings! Easy to button down and feed plus you can take it to the hospital to wear so you don’t have to wear a hospital gown after you give birth.
- Goodies! Make sure to get your favorite snacks! That first month is rough and having a little comfort snack goes a long way. Don’t worry about getting your body back and freaking out over not losing the baby weight fast. It takes 6 weeks for your uterus to shrink back down fully. So give yourself a break. Having a baby is hard enough without having to worry about losing weight right away.
These items are my top for making postpartum recovery a little easier. These are the things I wish I knew about before I had my daughter so I could have stocked up before I brought her home.
Second: Postpartum Blues
This is a more serious topic and I never got the full postpartum depression but I did get bad blues. Now baby blues are a mild form of postpartum depression. Not as severe and usually does not last more than a couple of months, but because of hormones and lack of sleep causes some depression traits. I had only ever heard about the really bad postpartum depression so I never thought that there was such a thing as the baby blues and that they can be hard too. I got the baby blues and I had no idea what was happening to me. I felt like a crazy person! Full on psycho! And it was different with each child. So the second time around I was prepared for one symptom of baby blues and I got a completely different symptom of baby blues.
With my first I had major anxiety when it came to my daughter. One week after I had her my father-in-law tried to hold her with wet hands (he washed them so he could hold her) and I had a full anxiety attack! I had to leave the room with the baby to be able to calm down. A couple weeks later my husband wanted to go to Walmart and I didn’t even make ten steps in before having a panic attack. In my brain I knew I was being unreasonable and crazy but I physically could not control myself.
Fast-forward to baby #2 and I had a whole different thing. I was prepared for the anxiety but instead it was my emotions. I would get angry very easily. At my toddler, at my husband, everyone! I would just get angry and then it would take me a long time to calm down. I hated it. Again I mentally knew I was being ridiculous but I had no idea how to stop it.
I’m telling you these things because while I never had full postpartum depression I had some serious baby blues. I wish someone would have told me that what was happening to me was normal and it would be ok. With my first I could not understand what was going on but with my second (even though it was different) I could recognize what was happening. These are the things that help when going through baby blues.
- Be honest with your partner. This is huge! With my daughter I never explained to my husband what was happening to me until months later. When I finally explained to him that I was having anxiety attacks and that I could not control them, he was able to help me. He started to recognize when I was about to have an attack and intervene to help me. Tell your partner what is happening! They can do more than you think they can.
- Be patient with yourself. Baby blues are normal. Your hormones are going all over the place because you just created a little human. They are going back to normal, plus the lack of sleep equals a roller coaster of emotions. Over time it will get better.
- If it doesn’t get better or gets worse talk to your doctor. I wish someone told me to be more honest with my doctor. I never did this but I wish I had. They are there to help. A doctor can tell you tips or even prescribe medicine if it is really bad. You do not have to suffer. God has created things to help us in this life. Use it.
- Pray for strength and help. I remember pleading with God to relieve me from my sufferings. That I was tired of feeling crazy and then angry. I did not have a miraculous healing but I did feel God lift me when I was at my weakest. On days where I felt like I could not do one more thing I felt Him make me strong enough to do the hard things. You are not alone.
Having a baby is hard. I hope this helps you and lets you know that you are not alone. Pregnancy and postpartum is often glamorized but it is ok that it is hard. It is ok that after you have your baby to feel sad and tired. You are not alone. I love my babies more than anything but there were times when I felt like I could not do it anymore. But I kept going and I made it and so can you.
If you have any other tips or questions about postpartum let me know in the comments.
